Glimpses from Human evolution

It’s actually been raining for 5 days and I have a bad case of foot ache. Are the two related ? How am I to know … I am just a goddamn accountant and not a good one at that. Much reviled as accountants/book keepers/bean counters may be … they have played a hard to ignore role in world history and even more stellar role in evolution. Starting with evolution, dunno how the scientists missed us out, but my wide research tells me that it was the Accountantis Humanis that acted as the crucial bridge between our tree loving ancestors and land bound forefathers. The crucial decision to move to land was taken on 17 August 17263 BC, excerpts from the momentous occasion –
Two Accountatis Humanis (AH1 and AH2) sit on top of tree staring at the ground below –
AH 1 - Hey, That yellow thingy down there looks like shit.
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Lets get down and look closer (and makes the earth shaking move to … well … earth)
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Hey, That yellow thingy continues to look like shit.
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Hey, This yellow thingy smells like shit
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Hey, this yellow thingy feels like shit,
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Hey, this yellow thingy tastes like shit.
AH 2 – I certify
AH 1 – Hey, this yellow thingy must be shit.
AH 2 – I certify

The above incident resulted in 2 things. Humans as a species decided to move to land and they appointed accountants to deal with shit. While sub sub species started by AH1 had to handle all the drudgery, sub sub species sired by AH 2 made lots of money. One of the closely held secrets of the accountant sub species has been the way we procreate. For we have to deal with 2 constants –
1) The males of the sub species are known to repel women … in extreme cases women are known to sense the presence of an accountant 5 km away and flee in terror.
2) Even where a bold reckless few venture anywhere near us, we either stare at them tongue tied or worse still behave like ourselves. That is usually sufficient to send them packing.
If you think I am gonna tell you how we procreate, perish the thought …. This is not a porn blog and I don’t want the venerable institute* to come down on me like a ton of bricks. Next I will deal with the role we played in world/alien history and my foot continues to ache and it continues to rain.

* - oh yeah, we sub species do have an institute of our own that well …. Churns out more of our unique kind and keeps making and unmaking strange rules.